if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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