According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
