we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
