great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
