i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you never un-have a 4some
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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