bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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