If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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