A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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