im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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