The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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