I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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