Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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