i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
