wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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