even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
