is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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