Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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