I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Apparently you make a good broom.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
