That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
