there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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