playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize