I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
