Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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