This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
