im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize