He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
