I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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