Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize