When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
