I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Two words: blizzard sex
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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