ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
