i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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