An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
