It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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