It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need moral support for this bender
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
