I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
