He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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