What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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