There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
