Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
