Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
