one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My dick has a subreddit
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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