but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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