saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
