ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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