Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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