Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
