I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
