yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
