Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
