Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
