Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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