I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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