He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
