Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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