her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
