Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
