and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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