great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
